I’ma Calling You Out, Broseph

The day before yesterday, I wrote some things about Dan Brown, popular author and literary punching bag. Then yesterday happened. However, in my ongoing attempts to distract myself from what happened yesterday, I’m bringing it back.

In the post two days ago, I made fun of one of Dan Brown’s character descriptions, comparing it to many novices I see in World of Warcraft who are living a hair too vicariously through their characters and haven’t given them any flaws. However, I’d like to give Mr. Brown a chance to redeem himself.

Here are some lines from Wilson, Wisconsin, which I consider one of my best character descriptions.

Winston turned to face the child, his scruffy mustache, wrinkles, and rotund figure giving him the appearance of a malnourished manatee in a polo shirt. “Hello!” Winston said to the boy, with the mix of wonder and bewilderment he used when encountering any person, technology, or concept younger than the wine he had in his basement.

Dear Mr. Brown: If you can do a better character description than this, I will personally buy a copy of your new book, The Lost Symbol, and read it with the best open mind I can. But it has to be specifically addressed to me. And the fact that almost nobody reads this blog should not be used to protect him – if I were a world famous author, I’d certainly spend all my time googling myself for people calling me out. Yep.

Ball’s in your court, sir.


1 Response to “I’ma Calling You Out, Broseph”

  1. 1 Lanuria September 21, 2009 at 5:42 AM

    I google myself anyways, just to see what people say.

    Then again, I only google Lanuria because no one really thinks me famous in a Real World Sense.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Most Recent Works

My Other Blog’s Other Blogger’s Other Blog

Become a fan on Facebook

My Life in ≤ 140 Chars:

Header photo by David Reber's Hammer Photography. Many ideas and images copyright Blizzard.

%d bloggers like this: